living life and sharing my journey

Are these three little words getting in your way?

There are three little words that I seem to hear more often than any others. Three little words my body is now on high alert for and I hear it *everywhere*. No not “I love you”, although I am lucky that I do get to hear that many times a day from my darling partner! No, it’s:

I don't know


Place holder words that I’ve started to notice in almost every conversation I have with someone. Sometimes offered up by me, sometimes by the person I am talking to.

It sometimes is said as a statement of fact:
I don’t know what I want.
I don’t know what’s important to me.
I don’t know what the next step is.
I don’t know what my vision is.
I don’t know what I should do.

And other times it just fills a silence in a conversation:
I find it interesting that the main discussion point in the media at the moment is about refugees, but I don’t know…..  I don’t know if ….


You see, we actually DO KNOW. We do know what we think. We do know what we want. We do know what is important to us. We might need to take some time to reflect, to sit quietly and decide what the answer is for us. We might need to allow space in a conversation to decide what point we need to get across rather than talking for the sake of talking. But we DO actually know.

It’s just that it’s seen as easier to say you don’t know and get someone else to help you:
Show me the way.
Tell me what to do.
Let me know what you think.


I believe words have power, and saying I don’t know actually takes the power away from the person saying it. It’s allowing us to doubt our convictions. It puts into question our beliefs and actions.

It leads to a world of indecision, uncertainty and instability.


What after each I don’t know we followed it up with But I’m willing to find out.
Rather than using I don’t know as a full stop, a cry for help, a willingness to put our actions onto someone else, what if we took control of our words, our thoughts and our actions and decided what we DO KNOW.

I don’t know what I want but I’m going to do what I enjoy and see where it takes me.
I don’t know what’s important to me but I’m going to sit quietly and reflect on the areas of my life I couldn’t imagine being without.
I don’t know what the next step is but I’m going to take a step anyway and see where it leads.
I don’t know what my vision is but I know people are a part of it.
I don’t know what I should do but any action is better than inaction.


Rather than questioning and enjoying the place of indecision, let’s take back our own power.
Let’s begin to trust in our own thoughts. Let’s begin to trust in our ideas. Let’s trust in our actions.

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